By Kefilwe Sibenya  

I recently facilitated a birth preparation session for expecting parents. 

Together, we discussed labour, birth, comfort measures, informed decision making and the important role partners play in supporting a labouring woman. 

As our conversation turned towards respectful maternity care, I asked this question: 

“Has anyone heard the term obstetric violence?” 

Not one person was familiar with the term. 

Of course, that moment stayed with me. I genuinely believed that everyone in this specific space or at least a few would be familiar with the term. 

As a Birth Doula, I have had the privilege of walking alongside women during some of the most transformative moments of their lives. I have witnessed beautiful births many times in my practice.I have also sat with postpartum women while offering one on one support, as they tried to make sense of experiences that left them feeling unheard, powerless, violated or wounded. 

We sit with women as they process births that did not unfold as expected. We hear stories of procedures that were never explained, concerns that went unheard and moments that continue to replay long after birth. Time and again, women describe these experiences without realising there is a name for what they endured. 

What struck me most was not that the term was unfamiliar in this room, but that many women experience harm without knowing there is language to describe it. 

So again, language matters.  

When we cannot name harm, we struggle to acknowledge it and unable to heal from it or seek help. 

Naming obstetric violence is not about creating fear around birth, nor is it about assigning blame to healthcare professionals. Every day, doctors, midwives and nurses work under immense pressure, often in resource constrained health systems, providing essential care to women and their babies. Their commitment deserves recognition and respect. 

At the same time, we must hold space for the reality faced by many labouring women in South Africa. Too many women continue to experience disrespect, poor or no communication, coercion, discrimination and care provided without informed consent. These are not isolated incidents or simply unfortunate moments. They can shape how women remember their births, how they  

enter motherhood and, for some, whether they feel safe to become pregnant again. 

Acknowledging these experiences does not undermine healthcare professionals. Rather, it strengthens our collective commitment to improving maternity care and advancing respectful, person-centred care for every woman. 

One of the solutions against mistreatment is antenatal classes or childbirth education.  

When women and their partners have access to childbirth education, they are better equipped to understand labour, common interventions and their options for care. They become more confident asking questions, participating in decisions about their care and recognising that respectfulcommunication and care is not a privilege, it is a fundamental right – their human right for that matter. 

Every woman deserves: 

• Clear explanations about her care 

• The opportunity to ask questions 

• Time, where clinically appropriate, to consider her options 

• The ability to give or decline informed consent after understanding the benefits and risks 

• To be treated with dignity, compassion and respect 

These are not extraordinary expectations. They are the foundations for respectful maternity care. 

My recent conversation with these families reminded me that we still have important work to do, not only in preparing women and their partners for birth, but also in ensuring they understand their rights, their choices and the standard of care they deserve. 

Because informed families are better equipped to participate in decisions about their care. 

Because respectful maternity care benefits women, families and healthcare providers alike. 

And because one of the first steps towards change is ensuring that women know there is a name for the harm they experienced and that they were never meant to carry it alone.  

About the author 

Kefilwe Sibenya is a certified birth doula and postpartum care provider. Kefilwe is the founder of Births and Botsetse and director of Doulas of South Africa. She is also a 2023 Embrace Mamandla Fellow.