The regret that I have… when it came to Cape Town. I finished my matric and then I came to Cape Town. I came here to study but I didn’t apply early, so I have to take a gap year and then during that gap year I met someone, and I fell pregnant.
Who has been the kindness to me as a mother, is my sister. She’s the most amazing sister ever that I have. She was helpful since, since I was in labour, I remember I went straight to the hospital and my sister came after, and she was the one that was rubbing my back through the pains…
For me it’s that like mothers can support each other, which means they can meet, like find that space of their own mothers and come together and talk about what each mother needs and what each mother – where she feels like she doesn’t get enough of how can we come together and support each other
The person who has been the kindest to me in my motherhood journey was my mother because when I was in labor, I couldn’t give birth, I was still in labor.
Motherhood… people talk about the love that you will feel for your child before you become a mother and you can cognitively listen to them and try to understand, but there really is an inability to approximate that until your child comes into your life and that is a huge thing that I’ve now realized after becoming a mother.
I think I wish that… before I became a mom, my fellow mothers and friends, who already had children, would have pulled me aside and given me permission to not enjoy every minute of the journey of motherhood.
I think that a lot of women that are not moms, tend to actually underestimate their own ability to step in to be there for moms, because you feel as though you are lacking the experience to be able to resonate with what they’re going through.
What would make it easier? Honestly, some more support groups. I don’t see – and I’m not one of those political people – but I don’t see the government giving any type of emotional support to mothers.
So I don’t know much about the story of my birth. I was abandoned at birth at a bus station in Lusaka… and then I was taken to the orphanage shortly after that.
My loneliest moment as a mother was the second night, after my son was born. My husband had stayed over in hospital the first night and so I hadn’t been alone – I was also hopped up on morphine.